What is the unexpressed need that my partner is asking for that they just may not know how to communicate?

So typically there is a feeling that your partner wants and you can even check on your side as well when you enter into a fight or an argument or something that you’re feeling. And a lot of times it can be very difficult to just out regularly express what it is that our heart wants to feel in that situation because we feel like we might lose some power with the other person.
We feel like we’re gonna lose our positioning or ground but what it takes is a level of vulnerability to be able to open up and actually ask her what you need. Now how that need is typically covered up with your partner is, or you for that matter, is an aggressive stance: it could be an attack, it could be a judgment, it could be you getting defensive, it could be them being defensive said by the girls from Bury Park Escorts from https://charlotteaction.org/bury-park-escorts.
And underneath that is a need or a feeling that they’re really wanting from you so when you can see past their words when you can see past the defense the attacks the judgment of criticism and into the piece of their heart that is really wanting something. And it’s typically either to feel loved by you, to feel desired by you, maybe it’s to feel reassured that you’re gonna be there for them, perhaps it’s that they want to feel respected, or that they want to feel that their emotions are valid regardless of whether they’re logical.
These are all things that people want and they may not be able to articulate because they fear they may lose their position, or they may sound stupid, or could give up the power.
So when you can see through these mechanisms that cover these needs up, then you can enter into the conversation with compassion. You can enter into a dialogue with a sense of curiosity of what it is that that person really needs.
And rather than taking their attacks personally rather than taking their defense as something that you have to suddenly try to dismantle you can sidestep that to talk to the heart of the matter.
And the last question to ask yourself during the fight before the fight is, “What can I take responsibility for?” Now that doesn’t mean, “What can I take blame for?” Or, “What can I blame myself for the situation?” But rather, “Where can I see myself at cause for the argument, for the fight in the situation where I can understand my contribution to this?”
And so you’re taking the focus of blame off of them and responsibility off of them. And you’re no longer looking for them to say something to fix it to apologize but rather you’re looking at yourself and say, “Okay. Being the creator of this dynamic with them being, one of the co-creators in this dynamic, where am I contributing to the dysfunction, to the disagreement and to the conflict that is currently happening between the two of us?”
So by shifting that focus from them back onto you reclaim all of your power within the argument and within the fight and are able to affect, really the only thing that you actually have control over, which is yourself in the situation.

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